Juggling multiple men? Lady Friday shows you how to keep all the balls in the air, with room to spare!
A few years ago, a friend of mine began keeping a dating blog purely because she had run out of mental space to keep track of her many, many (MANY) suitors. (Said friend is red-headed and has both an E-cup and the confidence of an Aztec conqueror, so obviously her little black book is thicker than a dictionary.)
She gave them all cute pseudonyms – the Englishman, the Artist – and fleshed them out as she went, placing markers all over her dating geography so that when somebody said “Who was that brown-haired chap I saw you with in April?” she might have a FAINT chance of remembering.
Juggling boys (and girls) is a difficult art. Calling somebody the wrong name in bed is the least of it. If you’re not of a very particular mindset, you’ll start mixing up date times (“Oh, I was expecting Evan”), likes, dislikes, personalities and – if you’re REALLY enmeshed – feelings.
There are a few ways around this. Culling inessentials. Keeping an immaculate social diary – or a PA. Flow charts. Excel is the modern girl’s best friend.
Really, though, if you’re intent on playing the field and having a rather extensive team, you are just going to have to play it like a pro.
Unromantic as it is, keep lists. Keep boxes, if you must. (For heaven’s sake keep these lists out of sight- polygamous as your partners are, looking at just how many their competitors are is always a bit disheartening.) Whether these are candidates for your hand or just playmates, you gotta have respect- and that means knowing their names and paying attention to who they are.
Careful with text messages and emails. It’s really, REALLY easy to send things to the wrong Ben. I’d say follow my redheaded friend’s manoeuvre and give them all nicknames in your social databases, as long as they’re not going to see it.
Use last names or nicknames (or personal jokes) to help you out. This goes for calendars, too. We’re busy girls, and a glance at an unclear calendar may mean we’ve geared ourselves up for a night with another person entirely.
If you accidentally double-book, you belong in the 50s. Seriously, this isn’t Archie and Veronica. We have Blackberries now. What is the matter with you?
Also keep track of how serious things are with each suitor. It’s a bit like watching various stock options- going up, going down, bear market, not returning your phone calls? Don’t blog it – unless, of course, you’re like my redhead friend and can do it with humour and grace – but don’t forget it, either.
If you’re up for it, it’s worth it – fun, challenging, more ego-boosting than a trip down a catwalk- but my god, there are going to be disasters. A friend of mine once went to a dinner party where four of her current dates were at the same table.
A last note: telling each partner you’re seeing other people? Really really good idea – because you do not want to have to ‘explain’ that boy in your bed when somebody makes an unexpected visit.
Lady Friday xx
Taking the pillow talk out the bedroom… every Friday!