When it’s covered by the BBC, you know a bedroom survey is big news.
And the latest study published in the Lancet, involving over 15,000 people between 16 and 74, has some startling insights into how we get intimate today.
The survey’s been taken once every decade since 1990, and comparing them has shown how people in the Western world shift in their attitudes, ideas and what they find important in bed.
So what’s this study show about how we’re changing – and why?
Image: Lucille Ball with her husband in the 1950s, courtesy Lucille Ball estate.
One of the big finds was that people are getting busy less frequently. People aged 16-44 averaged only 5 times a month, as opposed to six times or more two decades ago.
What’s to blame? The details don’t tell us – but the scientists in charge have some ideas.
Modern life, with its stresses, worries and the crunch of the rat race, is their main hypothesis. Stress has a huge relation to falling libidos and absence of desire.
With the world financial crisis, increasing job insecurity, and even environmental woes, the past decade’s stress level has been stratospheric, and ordinary libidos are feeling the crunch.
Researchers also pinpointed the trend for bringing hand-held devices into the bedroom. iPads, tablets and other electronic devices have been shown to disrupt sleep patterns if used in bed, but anecdotal evidence suggests they might distract from intimacy too.
So if you feel like everybody’s getting more than you, rest assured – they aren’t.
Image: Still from unknown film dating from the 1920s, courtesy film archives.
Another aspect that showed a big shift? Attitudes towards LGBT people.
Since 2001, the amount of people who’ve told the survey they don’t have a problem with same-sex relationships has leapt – from nearly half of all women to two-thirds, and from a third of men up to half.
So men are more intolerant generally, but both genders are also rapidly becoming more accepting.
This is also reflected in how many women have same-sex relationships or encounters – 7.9%, compared to just 1.8% back in 1991. It may be more acceptable now because more people know gay women, or have had encounters with women themselves.
However, while some things are getting more liberal, we’re also becoming more conservative.
Adultery is now frowned on more than it was in the 90s, while one-night stands are a little less acceptable than they were in the 2000s.
Why? Nobody can be sure. Popular culture might be to blame, or perhaps the news media or demographic shifts – but Miley Cyrus’s twerking certainly doesn’t mean that the modern generation has no boundaries left.
Things the survey doesn’t touch on? The rising use of toys – Sex & The City’s popularisation of The Rabbit made them mainstream – and the new popularity of kink in the 2000s, thanks to 50 Shades Of Grey.
Have you noticed our attitudes to the bedroom changing since 1990 – and is it for good or bad?
Lady Friday xxx
Taking the pillow talk out of the bedroom, every Friday…
