By Colleen Cuneo, Confidence Expert
www.cuneoproductions.com
Hands up if you’re constantly phoning a friend to sort out a crisis. And do you secretly love all the drama? RESCU’s Confidence and Deportment Expert, Colleen Cuneo, coaches us on how to turn the dramatics down a notch.
Let’s face it, drama comes packaged with an allure and promise of excitement. Many of us convince ourselves that drama might be the one thing that will pull us out of our humdrum existence.
But don’t be fooled, if you’re constantly in crisis mode, you could well be hooked on the stimulation drama promises. Once you get that first rush after leaving a bill unpaid, gossiping, or having a relationship with the wrong man, you’ve set up a pattern that becomes quite addictive. The pattern goes something like this:
You get the urge – butterflies in the stomach
You know it’s wrong – the better half of you tries to intervene
You act on it – the stimulation and excitement kicks in It backfires – you, and possibly others, get hurt and feel remorseful
What usually follows is many hours of problem solving with your friends, colleagues and family members. You desperately try to talk around what you did or didn’t do, and in the process possibly become one of the most annoying friends on the planet! Ouch.
Sick of constantly being in crisis mode? Here are five easy steps that will help clear the drama:
1) Breathe:
Research tells us that due to stress most people now take very short, shallow breaths, which in turn creates more stress in our bodies. Teach your body and mind that you can positively stimulate yourself by breathing deeply and regularly throughout the day. Simply breathe in through the nose filling the diaphragm up with air and out through the mouth. Because oxygen is positively charged, it will help you think clearer and feel more alive.
2) Identify the positive intention behind the drama:
Ask yourself what do I engage in the drama for? Is it to feel alive, stimulated or excited? Once you identify what you really want from the drama, you can start focusing on having what you really want in ways that support you.
3) Interrupt your negative patterns:
The only way to change a pattern is to change your behaviour. The definition of insanity is making the same mistake over and over again and expecting a different result – so don’t let that be you!
4) Focus on solutions not problems:
Don’t just say over and over what’s wrong in your life, be proactive and figure out solutions to fix the problem.
5) Focus on positive thinking:
Start each day for the next month by writing a list of everything you are grateful for. Take note of how different you feel when you allow yourself to become excited about focusing on the good things in your life. Drama might feel good at first, but it ultimately eats you up with remorse.
So why not try feasting on some happiness. If you know you have the choice to feel alive in positive way, why would you choose otherwise?