Time to break out the skyscraper heels, ladies. Follow Miss Manners’ tips to make this holiday partying season go off with a bang, not a whimper.
What’s a popular lass to do? You’ve got an invitation to your office party, your partner’s office party, a friend’s casual Yuletide get-together, a swanky do at a hotel, a Hannukah bash, and a partridge in a pear tree – all in the same month, and in some cases on the same night!
Calm down. Take a deep breath. It is possible to get through mad December celebrations with panache and grace – all it takes is a little planning.
First things first: be organised. RSVP to everything as soon as you can, and make decisions early. If you’re planning your own bash, try to coordinate with other people who’ve made noises about yuletide get-togethers, so nobody treads on any toes. It sounds very uptight, but it’s better than mutual friends being torn between hostesses.
Unless a party is explicitly ‘just show up’ material, yes, you do need to RSVP, and as far in advance as is possible. Take note of the invitation: if it doesn’t mention ‘friends and partners welcome’, don’t bring them, and don’t call up the hostess to whine about bringing a date unless your significant other a) knows the hostess already or b) is offended by not being invited. (Even in the case of ‘b’, beware.)
It’s fairly simple. If you never want to be asked anywhere again, go ahead and turn up late (or hideously early) and improperly dressed to somebody’s event, with an uninvited date and without a gift, having left the RSVP till the day before. Announce at the table that you turned vegetarian last week, get drunk, and either linger far past your welcome or leave abruptly and noisily, telling everybody you have somewhere else to be.
If, however, you want to get through Christmas without hate mail instead of cards in the post, be considerate. The ‘clash’ problem is always a difficult one – invariably there’s one night where you’re supposed to be two places at once. Either pick one over the other as soon as possible, or (if you really must put in an appearance at both) devote equal time to each. Say hello to everybody you need to greet at the first, particularly the hostess, and after a decent amount of time discreetly slip out, mentioning regretfully that you have another commitment.
Don’t lie. People have a way of finding out that instead of going home to bed as stated, you went out and partied somewhere else till three in the morning.
As for party garb, there’s a recession going on – nobody expects you to go out and buy a new dress for every night. Accessories are far more versatile, and don’t eat pay cheques whole.
Have a very well-mannered and merry Christmas.
Yours sincerely,