A male friend once looked at the ‘Lounge Suit’ specification on an invitation and said wonderingly whether that meant a tracksuit or “some kind of purple pinstripe Vegas thing”.
Luckily, there are still certain rules to follow – so here’s RESCU’s guide to dress codes.
If you ever become stuck, let Miss Manners guide you correctly.
Image via CreativeMarket
Casual
Beware the ‘casual’ problem – for some this means ‘jeans and a T-shirt in your rattiest trainers’, and for others ‘put on a slightly less-good dress and look presentable’.
If it’s an event, you might want to enquire beforehand, but the general rule with it is not to turn up in a Hawaiian shirt and grotty unwashed work trousers. Be comfortable, but be clean. Jeans are a good bet. Stilettos or high skirts – nope.
Smart casual
Smart casual can be interpreted in about 500 different ways, but generally think ‘boring with a bit of flair’ and you’ve got it right.
Be covered up, conservative and dressier than you would be to go to the shops or work – so heels, earrings or some statement jewellery.
There are guides which advocate a specific ‘uniform’, but generally if you look sharp without movie-premiere chic, that’s fine.
Business casual, for contrast, is pretty much ordinary workwear – non-jeans pants, a nice blouse, an informal dress. It’s men who get confused about business casual.
Lounge suit
The best way to make sense of this is ‘one step below black tie’. It’s generally used for weddings (see ‘morning dress’).
Wear what you would for a very nice evening out on the town, but without the bells and whistles for a black tie event. So your skirt doesn’t need to be full length, you don’t need to have your hair absolutely ‘done’, etc.
If you’re more a masculine-wear sort of person, a tuxedo-cut jacket with beautiful trousers and a casual blouse fits perfectly.
Cocktail wear
This is easy – the cocktail dress!
Cocktail dresses are shorter and more ‘dressy’ than normal dresses – French Connection sell lovely ones. They can also be sparkly or elaborate.
Add heels (but not ones which kill your feet, as cocktail parties do not involve a lot of sitting down) and you’re ready.
Morning dress
This is the code for ‘what people wear to very fancy daytime weddings’. It was the norm in the 19th century, but nobody wears anything this formal daily any more.
Men have far more rigid conventions here. For women, defer to what you saw at Kate Middleton’s wedding – a suit or long-sleeved dress, lovely shoes and (I’m afraid you can’t get out of it) a hat or fascinator.
This is also generally the formal attire for the races – back in the 50s you were required to wear stockings too, but bare legs is fine.
And no, it’s never all right to wear black or white to a wedding, unless the bride particularly says so. They’re not lucky colours in many cultures.
Black tie
Black tie events are generally pull-out-all-the-stops events. You need, for one thing, a long dress. And not a maxi-dress – a proper ‘gown’.
The Oscars are black tie, so think of that level of sophistication. Hair can be up, heels can be high, perfume can be expensive.
As for handbags – the only acceptable bag to take to a black tie event is a clutch. No, really.
Open-toed shoes need pedicures, though they don’t need to match or anything so rigid. It just looks nicer.
Zuhair Mourad for MNG does beautiful black-tie wear – or, for something more masculine, emulate Yves St Laurent’s Le Smoking.
White tie
White tie is as formal as events will ever be (unless somebody invents ‘purple tie’ or something similarly ridiculous.)
This level of formality has rules. Your dress must reach the ground and cover your shoulders (or you must have something which covers your shoulders on you, like a wrap or a pashmina). You also – and this might seem peculiar, but it’s true – must wear gloves, though you can take them off once you’re inside if you like.
The compensation? This is the time to go all-out on decoration. Tiaras are acceptable. Hats, however, are not – never at night.
Yours Sincerely,
Miss Manners x